Why all the zombies mean you’d better vote!

Howdy Halloween… and how about the symbolism as the dead seem ready to rise up, in the coming election?  And yes, I connect the two events, especially with one network pushing a zombie movie at us, just before we vote, in a blatant political ploy!

Seriously, zombies are political? Well. Recent studies have shown that zombie flicks flourish when Republicans are gaining ascendency. After all, such works works depict a garish, simplistic exaggeration of what they dread most — an unruly uprising of the filthy, ignorant masses.

Vampire films, in contrast, represent fear of a predatious-controlling aristocracy and so, this genre surges in perfect tempo with times when democrats rise in influence.

S’truth! Moreover, given the sudden greenlighting of ever-more remakes of remakes of remakes of the same dull zombie scenario… the same cliches, over and over again… it looks like we may be in for a very long period of aristocratic rule.  Perhaps like the 4,000 year feudal reign that only ended with the American Revolution, and that may resume at any time.

In fact though… what I’ve perceived goes deeper! It appears that there is a whole monster CLASS SYSTEM. After all, if vampires are old-style aristocrats (and by-the-way, those who wallow in vampire idolatry truly are bona fide traitors to our enlightenment), and if zombies are the proletariat…

…then which monsters represent the MIDDLE CLASS?

Well, it used to be lycanthropes, of course. Werewolves. Poor schlumps in the suburbs who got bitten and who must now wrestle with the temptations of raw, animal power. The only movie monsters who were portrayed with families, mortgages to pay and lawns that need mowing. Their affliction used to be depicted with sympathy and angst and made for interesting stories! Their new powers and temptations, conflicting with bourgeois values, led to compelling and very sympathetic tragedy…

…except in the wonderfully up-beat and American TEEN WOLF.

Alas, then, for the recent, utter betrayal of the whole idea behind wolfmen, in those awful new series we’ve seen lately — you know, the ones that portray “lycans” as just another kind of arrogant asshole monster race preying on normal people, completely missing the point of what they are about!

Wanna see my own, highly original (and hilarious!) riffs on classic monsters? Portrayed in a raucous sci fi action comedy?  See my new serial “The Ancient Ones” in Baen’s Universe – the best online SF magazine ever. http://baens-universe.com/

It really is worth the price of a year’s subscription, all by itself, I promise! You’ll fall off your chair! 😉
=== But Just a Little Politics Now, Please ===

There are so many lies.  So many tricks being used to sucker millions of Americans into voting for their own worst enemies, the venial thieves who have robbed us and brought America low.  At this late moment, it’s hard to summarize even a few points, but I must try.  Ask these questions of your Fox-watching neighbor:

1) I have put out this challenge for years and no one on the right ever dares to respond! In all of human history, which enemy of freedom crushed and destroyed more markets or competition or opportunity or liberty?  Socialists or oligarchs?  In 99% of human decades, it was the latter.  So why are you letting a propaganda machine that is financed by a bunch of secretive billionaires and middle-eastern oil princes feed you all your political ideas and stoke up your passionate hatred against your neighbors?

2) If the Bushites over-spent more freely than Obama, and lost more jobs by far, and if “ObamaCare” is actually based upon the Republicans’ own 1995 health plan… exactly why are you so eager to put the GOP back  in charge?

3)  Do you actually…?

Oh, but it is time to stop. I have tried for 10 years to come up with silver bullets that might wake up decent conservatives from their fevered delusion — that their movement has not been hijacked by monsters.  It seems hopeless.  They will not hear the sound of Barry Goldwater, spinning in his grave.

So let me put it this way. It is up to moderates… moderate and pragmatic, dedicated to a calm America, where negotiation is still possible… to make a difference in this election. For you all to realize that it is time to be militantly moderate! And, this decade (maybe not the next one!) that means punishing the party that is inarguably insane.  The delirious ones on the right.

Enough talking.  Find a tight race near you and tomorrow go down to the HQ of that race and volunteer to help get out the vote.

Fight both the zombies and the vampires.  Fight for us mere, middle class werewolves!

Fight for the republic.



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